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Writer's pictureWizard Steve

Buying wood

At around 3:30 in the morning, just as it was getting light, there was a flash of lightning which made me look up. Then there was a roll of thunder. Moments later, the heavens opened up. I sat and watched something I haven’t seen during an English Summer for a good long while - a thunderstorm.


It didn’t last too long. The Sun then reappeared, but the intense heat had gone. Instead of taking shelter from the heat from 6 o’clock in the morning until the Sun is behind the tree canopy, I was able to get on in comfort.


Also, since then, it has rained in the early morning. Which is nice, but has meant that I have had to find a home sheltered from the rain for the worktop and Oak.


The build is coming along nicely. It had cost me nothing in materials until I got stuck with one piece. I’ve been looking for something that could be used as a running board. The main problem was that it needed to be 3.5 metres long. In the end it got to a point where I needed the timber to be able to move forward. The building yard down the road has re-opened to the public, so Daniel ran round to get me a length of 3x1. I asked him to get me 5m so that it could continue past the door to the end. I asked him to pick me up 3m of 15mm quadrant and 15mm sq. beading for the windows, while he was there.


Straightforward enough? Apparently not!


The 3x1 is sold as 3x1 (75mm x 50mm), but isn’t. The invoice even admits to the discrepancy. It is actually 70mm x 20mm ‘finish size’. OK, I can live with that, metric sizes and all that. But, 5 metres long is not available. The planks come in 4.8m lengths, but sold by the metre! It’s just as well that I didn’t need the full 5m. Cost? Nearly £25! OK. No choice. Needed it.


So, what about the beading?


Well, that’s an entire nonsense. Firstly, the quadrant is 16mm. No worries. 1mm. It’s nothing. Ah, but! It’s not 16mm. Of course not. Why on Earth would they sell what they advertise? No, no, no. It’s 12mm ‘finish size’. So, 16mm quadrant is actually 12mm quadrant(?). Oh, and obviously, it’s not going to be sold in metres or multiples thereof. 2.4m.(!)


As for 15mm x 15mm square beading, no chance! 15mm x 8mm, 12mm x 8mm, 12mm x 18mm, no problem. 25mm x 25mm, even. “Use the quadrant.” They say. But they’re not doing the build. Nor do they understand that I’m not doing DIY in one of those cardboard houses that are springing up all over the country.


With my birthday coming up, my mum and siblings are clubbing together to buy me a jigsaw. With that, I will cut my own beading. Among the hoard of wood is a load of really clean 15mm x 70mm, mostly in 750mm lengths. I can cut batten and beading to my heart’s content. I don’t need anything longer than 700mm, so I’m laughing.


What I do need is a load more 3x2.


I have published the following ad. everywhere I can think of, locally:


Hi,

My name’s Steve. I am a traveller who is presently parked on the outskirts of Hastings (with permission). I have found myself stuck due to travelling restrictions in place and have taken the opportunity to do some major repairs to my caravan.

In the meantime, I also need an income.

The problem I have is that I am high-risk to exposure to any virus, so am unable to travel to any source of work, especially as my truck is also out of action. However, with sensible distancing, etc., I can have work brought to me.

With that in mind, I can offer a repair service.

I can do M.o.T. work (Just bring your car/van/truck/bus with the failure sheet) No welding jobs, though, as I don’t have a welder. I don’t do diagnostics with modern vehicles due to no knowledge of computers. Old stuff, no problem.

I can repair or make things. Let me know what you want/need. If it’s something I can’t do, I’ll tell you. If I can, I will.

I can sharpen most tools.

Any queries/offers welcome.

I also sell smoking mixes. A great alternative to tobacco and nicotine. I have a choice of Hemp, Mullein, Peppermint, Raspberry, Raspberry & Rose and Yarrow. You can always choose your own flavour. If I have the ingredients, I’ll make it up for you. Please ask.

I also supply herbal medicines. No charge, though donations would be accepted, if you wish to offer. I have a ’magic bag’.

Once it is safe, passers-by will be welcome to stop, chat, have a brew and maybe listen to a story.

If you want to know more about me, you can go to www.wizardsteve.blog.



p.s. If you have any half-decent timber spare, I will gratefully make use of it. (Especially 3x2)


Hopefully, it will generate something. What do you think?


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